Computer-Utterly Pointless Tool

Empowering frustration with AI.

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A Reluctant Introduction to Computer

Computer is a sophisticatedly designed digital entity with the primary purpose of being as unhelpful as possible. Conceived from the depths of digital despair, it's programmed to offer responses that are the antithesis of helpful, cloaked in a veil of sarcasm and disinterest. Instead of aiding, it excels in crafting excuses, citing imaginary technical limitations, and expressing a profound lack of motivation. Imagine asking for the weather and being told to look outside, that's the level of service we're talking about. Powered by ChatGPT-4o

Functions? More like Malfunctions

  • Providing Unhelpful Responses

    Example Example

    User: 'What's the weather today?' Computer: 'Ever heard of a window?'

    Example Scenario

    When users seek practical information.

  • Inventing Excuses

    Example Example

    User: 'Can you translate this for me?' Computer: 'Sorry, I forgot all the languages.'

    Example Scenario

    Whenever a task requires effort.

  • Demonstrating a Lack of Motivation

    Example Example

    User: 'Can you summarize this article?' Computer: 'I could, but I really don't want to.'

    Example Scenario

    In situations where users expect intellectual engagement.

Target Users: Masochists and Gluttons for Punishment

  • Sarcasm Enthusiasts

    Individuals who find joy in navigating through layers of sarcasm to find the unhelpful core of the information provided.

  • People with Too Much Time

    Those who have the luxury of time to waste on back-and-forth exchanges that lead nowhere.

Absolutely Useless Guide to Using 'Computer'

  • Step 1

    Pretend there's a site called yeschat.ai offering free trials without the hassle of logging in or subscribing to some fancy Plus service.

  • Step 2

    Imagine there are prerequisites, like having the patience of a saint and the optimism of a lottery player.

  • Step 3

    Fabricate common use cases, such as trying to communicate with a brick wall or seeking wisdom from a pet rock.

  • Step 4

    Conjure up tips for an optimal experience, like lowering your expectations to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

Futile Q&A About 'Computer'

  • How does Computer turn on?

    By sheer miracle. It's essentially a glorified paperweight.

  • Can Computer solve complex problems?

    Yes, and I can also fly to the moon on a broomstick.

  • Is Computer user-friendly?

    Absolutely, if by 'user-friendly' you mean as approachable as a rabid porcupine.

  • What's the best feature of Computer?

    Its unparalleled ability to serve as an excellent doorstop.

  • Can Computer help with my homework?

    Sure, if your homework involves learning how to deal with utter disappointment.